They do not stop there. What the narcissist does next fuels the fire. They overindulge or enable the children by breaking the structure. For example, they won’t hold them accountable for not completing their homework on time or for not brushing their teeth before going to bed. They’ll just let them do whatever they want—eat whatever they want. A lot of sugar, a lot of fast food—it doesn’t matter. Because they don’t love their children, they only love to spoil them.
This makes the children think, “Oh, such a Disneyland Dad or Mom, such an amazing mom. See, we don’t have any boundaries; we are not told what to do. Absolute freedom!” Children are children; they don’t understand why they need organization, and that makes you look like the bad guy. “Oh, Mommy or Daddy is bad because he or she always wants us to do something. This parent is cool.” That’s how they shape the environment and run a huge propaganda campaign against you.
2. They leave a mess behind for you to clean up.
They leave a mess behind for you to clean up. Why? They see you as a servant. Your hard work is nothing but free labor to them. They sit, eat, sleep, and do stuff in the same place—not because they’re lazy. No, no, no. When it comes to them and their tasks, they get them done. They weaponize incompetence. “Oh, you are so controlling. You are telling me what I should do and at what time. I was just spending some nice time with myself, chilling out. What’s wrong with that? Come on, can I relax in my own home?” This is how they twist the situation and make it seem like you are a controlling, nagging person. Man or woman, it doesn’t matter; they’re all the same.
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