What comes to mind when you hear “memory loss from narcissistic abuse”? Perhaps you think of struggling to recall specific events or having occasional memory gaps. But what if I told you that memory loss goes far beyond simply forgetting details?
Research shows that intense, prolonged stress doesn’t just affect memory—it can rob you of your skills, creativity, and even the essence of what makes you feel like yourself. This kind of trauma impacts the brain profoundly, causing not only memory lapses but also changes in how you function.
Number one: Procedural Memory Loss.
Procedural memory allows you to perform tasks automatically without consciously thinking about each step—like driving, riding a bicycle, or typing on a keyboard. Normally, these skills are second nature because they are stored in your procedural memory, often called the unconscious mind.
However, the constant stress and nervous system dysregulation from narcissistic abuse can disrupt these basic routines. You may start second-guessing actions that once felt natural. Driving a familiar route might suddenly cause anxiety, or you might feel hesitant with everyday tasks like typing or cooking. This disorientation can feel as though the confidence and ease you once had are slipping away.
It doesn’t end with daily routines; this memory loss can also affect your creativity and skills. You may struggle with things that once flowed easily, like writing, painting, or playing an instrument, making you doubt your abilities.
Thankfully, as you heal and distance yourself from the stress, your procedural memory can begin to bounce back. Gradually, routines feel familiar again, and the ease of performing them returns. Healing gives your brain the space it needs to restore these automatic skills, letting you reconnect with the confidence you once had.
Number two: Selective Memory Loss.
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