Number five: What are some of your biggest hurts and pains? Everybody has some. It’s impossible for a person to grow without any traumas, without anything to think about and say, “Oh, that still hurts,” or “That hurt me in the past,” and so on. But if you were to ask this question to a narcissist, they’ll say, “Oh, there’s nothing. I’m above that; I’m omnipotent; I’m an extremely powerful, godlike being. Nothing can ever hurt me. Come on, what are you talking about?” “Oh, but you experienced abuse, your parents tortured you physically, mentally, or in other ways. What about that?” “Oh, that was nothing. I have just moved on from that. It never impacted me. I was always different; I was always better than that, and they were not that bad. I understand why they did it.” So, yeah, there’s nothing to talk about there. It put happy overall. When in reality, narcissists are nothing but damaged products of destructive parenting. They will never acknowledge that their childhood was the problem because then they will have to take responsibility for their current actions and say, “Oh, I see, that thing that triggered me because I’m insecure.” They’ll have to say, “I’m weak, that I need some work.” They will never acknowledge it. The whole narrative of “I am the best, I am the sane one, you’re the crazy one” will be shattered. On what basis will they argue then if the origin of the problem becomes clear, which is them? They will never ever be able to answer this question. Oh, at the same time, it’s very important to acknowledge that there are some narcissists who do talk about their childhood trauma and say, “Oh yeah, this happened, and that happened.” And those types of narcissists tend to weaponize it. Those types of narcissists are typically covert in presentation or vulnerable in their nature. They like to be seen as the eternal victim, the ultimate martyr, the one who has sacrificed it all. They want everybody to cry for them but take zero steps to better their situation. They don’t do anything about it; they’re not interested in it. If you push them to take some steps, like go to therapy individually or acknowledge that, “Yes, this is my trauma pattern, this is the list of all the sabotaging behaviors,” and all that, they won’t ever do that. They’ll blame you for abusing them; they’ll blame you for pushing them; they will blame you for being controlling. And you know how the story goes. So don’t confuse yourself. If you are with someone or have been with someone who has talked about their trauma and psycho-ables a lot, it’s nothing but yet another tactic to abuse people.
Why Narcissists DON’T like being at Home?
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