5 Questions a Narcissist CANNOT Answer


In a narcissist’s crazy, delusional head, they believe they know it all. There’s nothing hidden from them; there’s no question they cannot answer. They dip their toes in everything; they will jump in to talk about subjects they hardly know anything about. They will debate and go on and on, giving justifications that are purely nonsensical, making no sense to others, but to them, it makes sense. They are Jacks of all trades but masters of none because there are some things they can never answer; there are some things hidden from them. That is what we are going to talk about in today’s episode.

Number one: Why do you act so nicely in front of strangers? A narcissist puts on a mask; they put up a front, a facade is activated whenever they are interacting with somebody who is a possible target for their narcissistic supply. So if you were to ask them why do you do this, why do you act differently, they won’t have an answer. They won’t tell you the truth because the truth is, ‘Well, I can fool them. I can manipulate them into thinking that I’m the nicest person they have ever met,’ which means they can adore me, they can admire me, they can see me differently than who I am because I don’t like my own reality. You get to see my real side because I know you’re trapped, you won’t leave me easily, or I have kept you under my thumb, you are under my control. So I will show you my nice side, not the not-so-nice side, but to them, I have to be this person.

Number two: If you hate me so much, why don’t you leave me? A narcissist can also ask you this question. I’ll talk about that in a minute. When you ask this question to a narcissist, you will never get a genuine answer because a narcissist will not tell you that, ‘Yes, I do have a love-hate situation going on with you. I hate you, I hate your guts, but I cannot leave you.’ Not that I really care for you or I’ll miss you, and I deeply, deeply want you to be in my life. No, I can’t let you go because I can’t live without you. I depend more on you than how much you depend on me. So that is the real answer; this question can never ever be answered by a narcissist because that would require them to be vulnerable, that would require them to confess their crimes and tell you who they are. Now if a narcissist happens to ask you this question, their intention is completely different. They’re asking you this question to guilt-trip you, to make you feel bad and sad, to make it seem like you are causing them a lot of harm and you are a miserable, pathetic human being, and that the fault is yours, that you have the free will to make a choice and to decide, but you’re not deciding to leave, and that means it’s your mistake. Whatever is happening is okay because they have not closed the doors for you. It doesn’t make any sense, but it’s abdicating responsibility; it’s all about pushing it away; it’s all about not acknowledging the fact that they have traumatized you to your core, and your trauma being inside out, left, right, and center, and you cannot leave them that easily. But when a narcissist asks you a question like that, know that it’s nothing but invalidation of your pain.

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