Hatred is at the very center of narcissism. It is the driving force behind their personality. Without hating others, a narcissist cannot function at all. What’s shocking is that their bubble of hatred even encompasses those who are supposed to be the closest to them—their children, their spouse, and every person who enters their life to uplift them.
Hatred Towards Their Own Children
Number one: their own children. Can you believe it? Yes, a narcissist deeply resents their children, even though they may pretend to be a loving parent when others are watching. Publicly, they project the image of a doting mom or dad to gain adulation, admiration, and validation. But in private, they often show little care or concern for their children.
Hating their children doesn’t always manifest as physical abuse. It also includes emotional neglect, ignoring their children’s needs, abandoning them emotionally, and only appearing in their lives when it’s convenient for them. For example, they might act as the “Disneyland parent” who shows up on graduation day, not out of pride, but to take credit for their child’s achievements.
The root of this hatred? Two primary reasons:
- Competition for Attention: The child becomes a “shareholder” in the attention the sane parent offers. For example, a narcissistic father might resent his child because they take attention away from their mother, who the narcissist sees as their own psychological possession. Similarly, a narcissistic mother may view her daughter as competition, akin to a “co-wife,” and attempt to alienate her from her father.
- Jealousy of Independence: Narcissists expect their children to be mere extensions of themselves, but when children individuate and grow into their own person, the narcissist burns with jealousy.
Spousal Hatred in Narcissistic Relationships
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