5 Humiliations That Turn a Grandiose Narcissist into a Covert Narcissist
The second situation occurs when a narcissist experiences major losses in life, such as financial hardship, business failure, job demotion, or a career that does not progress as they expected. When a narcissist is at the peak of their career or social status, they behave with extreme arrogance, moving through life with a sense of superiority and disrespecting others. However, when they experience a serious setback, their behavior often changes dramatically. If they encounter someone who holds greater power, status, or influence, they may suddenly become extremely submissive in front of that person. In such situations, they may appear overly polite and agreeable, even if they strongly dislike the individual. They may smile, flatter, and behave respectfully in that person’s presence, even if the person openly criticizes them or treats them harshly. On the surface, they appear cooperative and obedient, but internally, they remain resentful and jealous.
Instead of confronting powerful people directly, they begin plotting revenge quietly. Rather than openly attacking those who are more powerful or influential, they prefer indirect tactics. They may spread rumors, manipulate others behind the scenes, or attempt to engineer someone’s downfall through gossip and subtle sabotage. Their hostility does not disappear but becomes hidden and strategic.
Golden Child Betrayal
The third situation occurs when a narcissist is betrayed by their own golden child or by a very close flying monkey who once played an important role in their life. Narcissists often invest heavily in certain people, especially the golden child. They enable them blindly, place them above everyone else, and make them feel special and superior. The golden child is often treated as an extension of the narcissist’s ego and as someone who will remain loyal forever. A betrayal from such a person is extremely difficult for a narcissist to tolerate. They may spend years empowering that individual, defending them, and placing them on a pedestal, seeing the golden child as a kind of weapon for their future security, especially as they grow older.
However, as the saying goes, a child of a snake often grows into a snake as well. Eventually, the golden child may reveal their own manipulative or self-serving nature. No matter how much they were enabled, they learned those same behaviors from the narcissistic environment itself. When that person finally shows their true colors and either betrays or abandons the narcissist, it creates a devastating psychological blow. At that moment, the narcissist realizes that the very person they invested in so heavily has turned against them. The person they believed would protect or support them in old age has become a source of betrayal. This kind of humiliation and emotional shock can be very difficult for a narcissist to process, resulting in many never fully recovering from such betrayal. It often forces them to withdraw from their grandiosity and adopt a more covert style of narcissism.
Public Exposure and Victim Role
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