Hormonal shift number two is disrupted oxytocin and dopamine reward systems. We need to talk about your bonding and reward hormones, oxytocin and dopamine. Narcissistic abuse hijacks these systems in devastating ways.
Oxytocin, the love hormone, is released during positive social interactions and emotional bonding. In healthy relationships, it creates a stable baseline of connection and trust. However, narcissists manipulate the system through intermittent reinforcement—periods of love bombing followed by extreme devaluation. During love bombing, your oxytocin levels spike dramatically as the narcissist floods you with attention and affection. Your brain interprets this as a powerful bonding experience. But then comes devaluation, where that oxytocin supply is abruptly cut off, creating a biochemical withdrawal that feels like genuine heartbreak because it is.
The dopamine system becomes even more severely compromised. Dopamine is your brain’s reward chemical, released when you anticipate or receive something pleasurable. Narcissists create unpredictable rewards that lead to the strongest addiction patterns known to psychology. Think of it like a slot machine: you do not know when you will get a payout, but when you do, the dopamine hit is massive. This is why survivors often describe feeling addicted to their abuser—a trauma bond. Your brain has been hijacked by irregular dopamine releases, creating powerful cravings for the narcissist’s approval. After the relationship ends, your dopamine baseline is severely depleted; nothing feels rewarding anymore, and you cannot experience pleasure from activities you once enjoyed. This is called anhedonia, and it’s a direct result of dopamine system dysregulation.
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