Number three: the test of betrayal by those you loved so dearly. The narcissist’s abuse was extremely painful, but it wasn’t the worst part, was it? The worst part was the people who turned against you: the friends who did not believe you, the family members who sided with the narcissist, the people who looked you in the eyes and told you that you were the problem. You were exaggerating things; you were blaming them for no reason. You learned the most devastating lesson of all: love does not always mean loyalty. You were painfully shown that there are many snakes in your life, but why? To make letting go of the burdens easier for you.
You had to learn that some people will never stand beside you, no matter how much you sacrifice for them. Some will throw you to the wolves just to keep their own peace, like my mother did in the end. And when you needed them the most, they did not show up. I experienced the biggest betrayal from my family when my mother sided with my narcissistic, psychopathic father in the last fight and wanted everything to go back to normal, simply to avoid facing any consequences or inconveniences.
God allowed this betrayal for a reason. He was clearing your path as He did mine. He was showing you who never truly belonged in your life. As painful as that was, He was teaching you that real love does not abandon; real love does not choose comfort over truth. Real love does not turn away in your darkest hour. This test shattered you, I know, but it also purified your circle. Now, no one who remains in your life is there by accident.
Number four: the dark night of the soul, the biggest and most difficult test. The dark night of the soul is the ultimate breaking point—the moment when everything collapses, and you are left with nothing but yourself. It is not just sadness or despair; it is a complete disintegration of everything you thought you knew about yourself and the world at large. It is the point where no illusions remain. No false hopes to cling onto—just raw, unfiltered pain—the kind of pain that makes you want to disappear. It is the absolute rock bottom, the kind of pain that makes you question why you are still here.
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