Why do you check the fridge as if it holds the secrets of the universe? If you find yourself constantly opening the fridge, not out of hunger but to make sure you have enough food, that’s not just a habit; it’s a response to past instability.
Narcissistic abuse often creates an environment where resources, including food, are used as control. Maybe you were guilt-tripped for eating too much, shamed for needing basic things, or made to feel like you had to earn the right to be cared for. Dr. Lindsay Gibson, author of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, explains that people raised in unpredictable or emotionally neglectful households develop deep-seated fears about scarcity, even when resources are available. That fear doesn’t just go away when your circumstances change; it lingers, making you check and recheck, as if running out of something means losing security itself.
But here’s the thing: safety isn’t just about what’s in your fridge; it’s about what’s in your mind. The constant checking is your nervous system trying to reassure itself, but true reassurance doesn’t come from staring at a full shelf of groceries. Psychologist Dr. Nicole LePera notes that healing from survival mode means teaching yourself that you are safe even when you’re not constantly monitoring your environment. Instead of letting old fears dictate your actions, try reminding yourself, “I have enough. I am safe. I can always get what I need.” Because the truth is, you’re not living in the past anymore, and you don’t have to act like you are.
If you recognize these habits in yourself, don’t panic. It just means you’ve been through something that changed the way you see the world. Just because you learned these habits doesn’t mean you have to keep them. Healing takes time, but every small step helps you unlearn the damage, and one day you’ll look back and realize the person who hurt you no longer has control over how you live your life. That’s when you’ll know you’ve truly broken free.
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