Have you ever been in a conversation where the goal seems to be who could speak the fastest or the most? This leads us to our fourth clue in spotting a narcissist in conversation: the relentless battle for airtime. It’s like dialogue becomes a competition not for the best ideas but for who can dominate the conversation with sheer volume of words. What you’ll see is a conversation where one person does most of the talking, often cutting you off, interrupting you, or blatantly speaking over you. They seem to be in a constant rush to express their thoughts, leaving zero space for yours. This isn’t just eagerness to share; it’s a clear tactic to maintain control, making sure their voice dominates and your input becomes secondary, if not entirely sidelined. When you’re a generous and kind person, you’re going to miss this because you’re not threatened by allowing someone else to have the floor, and you might even be more comfortable taking the backseat in a conversation. But it’s important to know that this relentless grab for conversational dominance is a red flag for narcissism because of the underlying purpose to shift the power dynamics. It’s a calculated effort to reduce the conversation to a one-sided showcase of their own views. I recently experienced this at a meeting where I was supposed to be collaborative, and I had a list of questions I’d hoped to address. But as the meeting went on, I felt more like I was trying to jump into a heated tennis match rather than a conversation. I even found myself, at one point, raising my hand to try to get a word in edgewise. By the end of the hour, I felt completely unseen, unheard, and marginalized, facing a conversational steamroller who turns dialogue into a competition.
Facing a conversational steamroller who turns dialogue into a competition requires a deliberate strategy that allows you to reclaim your space without directly confronting the aggressive dynamic. This is where the pause, question, and assert method comes into action. It’s designed to specifically address the challenge of competing for airtime and equips you with the tools to interrupt the cycle of dominance gently, to make sure that your voice is heard and respected. When you notice that a conversation is being dominated, take a moment to collect your thoughts. Then, ask a question—it’s a subtle challenge. You can ask something simple like, ‘Can I add something here?’ or ‘I have something to say.’ Then, watch for feedback. A narcissist will double down or try to dominate the dialogue or completely dismiss your input, and this reaction is telling. If your attempts at an equitable conversation are always met with resistance or dismissal, it’s a strong indicator that you’re dealing with narcissistic tendencies.
What to Say to a Narcissist to Shut Them Down Permanently
Clue #5: Type of Sensitivity
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