Narcissists enjoy seeing their victims in stressful situations, and they derive pleasure from orchestrating these circumstances. That’s why they set up their victims for absolute failure. Then, that failure is used to discredit and blame the object of their manipulation.
This manipulation tactic is often done covertly through sabotage, or by undermining an achievable objective. Narcissists may be projecting their internal feelings of inadequacy onto their victims when they do this.
Vilification
This tactic will make you appear defensive while redirecting blame away from the narcissist. This happens when the manipulator falsely accuses you of being the abuser as a response to you addressing their behavior or your needs and boundaries.
You might recognize this as gaslighting. In the end, you will question your position and your emotions. The goal of vilification is to build your self-resentment and guilt — putting you in the wrong before you realize what’s really going on.
Playing the Victim
Even though narcissists make victims of others, they love playing the victim. They will excuse their behaviour or garner attention by claiming their suffering is the result of circumstance or another person.
You can recognize this tactic when they say they “had no other option,” or if they complain all the time. They might also say that the person they are manipulating is actually the one manipulating them.
Narcissists do this because they want to get pity, sympathy, or compassion from others. It helps them escape blame while gaining support from more unsuspecting victims. Overall, a narcissist’s goal is to control.
These manipulation tactics degrade victims’ sense of autonomy, erode identity, and diminish social standing. Once weakened, the manipulator can easily dominate their victims. Although these behaviours signal antisocial traits that indicate personality disorders, almost everyone displays some of these behaviours at one time or another.
The key to recognizing an unhealthy relationship with a manipulative person is identifying patterns. Because many of these tactics are covert, it may take years to see the insidious abuse patterns — especially if you have a history of abuse or are an overly forgiving person.
However, when you know these strategies and can name them, it will be more difficult for a narcissist to use them on you.
Sharing is caring!
