Downcast eyes
Have you ever felt like you are playing hide and seek, but the only one hiding is you? When you are stuck in a pattern of narcissistic abuse, you might find yourself avoiding eye contact and looking down or away more often than usual. This is not just about being shy; it is a way to protect yourself from potential conflict or criticism. Trauma expert Dr. Judith Herman notes that in abusive relationships, people often avoid direct eye contact to reduce visibility. By keeping your eyes downcast, you are signaling that you are not a threat and hoping to avoid confrontation. To overcome this, practice making gradual eye contact with safe people to build your confidence and assertiveness in social situations.
Subtle tremors
Even in silence, the body speaks volumes about its hidden struggles. If you’ve been through narcissistic abuse, you might notice tiny involuntary shakes or tremors in your hands or body coming out of nowhere. These subtle tremors are your body’s response to stress, as if it’s releasing all that bottled-up tension bit by bit. Trauma specialist Dr. Peter Levine says the body shakes to discharge energy when it has been in survival mode for too long. So, even though you might try to stay calm on the outside, these little tremors reveal the nervous energy that’s still buzzing inside. To overcome these involuntary shakes, engage in regular physical activity or mindfulness practices to release tension and promote calm.
Constant nodding
Navigating the emotional minefield of narcissistic abuse can feel like performing a delicate dance where you are constantly trying to please without stepping on any toes. When you are dealing with narcissistic abuse, you might find yourself nodding a lot—sometimes more than you mean to. This constant nodding is your body’s way of telling others that you are on their side because you don’t want to upset them. Psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula explains that people in abusive relationships often go out of their way to seem agreeable, hoping it will keep the peace and prevent conflict. Nodding becomes an automatic response to avoid criticism or confrontation. Practice asserting your opinions and feelings gradually, allowing yourself to be more comfortable with disagreement in safe situations.
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