So, what do you do? You lose them, or they threaten you. They say things like, “Well, things between us should only stay between us. It’s not fair that you go out and talk about our issues with strangers, with family members.” And that is what leads to isolation because when your friends and family ask you what’s going on, you justify the narcissist’s actions, especially when you are in the middle of it. You are in denial, and that aggravates them as well, which is then further weaponized to paint you as the crazy person. You see how it goes? So, that is how they steal everything. They leave you feeling worthless, take away your relationships, your friendships, your family. They also convince your children to be against you, destroy your relationship with your own children by convincing them that you are the monster of a parent. That is what they call parental alienation. The problem is narcissists cry it when, in reality, it happens with you, and it’s not something they just say to these children. No, they, in a very strategic way, create an environment where you are pushed to react, and then they use that reaction to justify why you are the crazy one so that the children believe you are too much to deal with, too strict, too this, too that without knowing the full story. They take away your children as well.
Their biggest theft is the theft of your joy and your happiness. They leave you dry; you do not recognize yourself anymore. Once you either leave the relationship or they discard you, people tell me, “Oh, before meeting the narcissist, I used to be this joyful, outgoing person. But now, I have become introverted. I don’t know what to do with my life. I don’t know how to find my joy. The things that used to make my life better, I don’t enjoy them anymore. Nothing matters to me. I keep thinking, how did it happen? Why did I let it happen?” That is the biggest theft, isn’t it? They take away your stability, your peace, your connections—primarily your connection with yourself, with life. You stop experiencing it; you stop living. And all you want at a certain point is to be left alone. Probably you become totally numb towards everything. That is a temporary state, but you go through it.
The Mind Of A Covert Narcissist | What To Look For
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