I have two main reasons why reality is a threat to narcissists.
1. Reality Exposes Their Vulnerabilities
Narcissists have a fragile sense of self despite projecting confidence. They often rely on an exaggerated self-image to shield themselves from deep-seated insecurities and feelings of inadequacy.
When reality intrudes, such as through criticism or authentic feedback they do not like, it is seen as an attack. These statements threaten their constructed identity, revealing vulnerabilities or flaws they would rather deny. Narcissists cannot handle having their flaws pointed out or taking accountability for anything that contradicts their fabricated image. They prefer to believe they have done and said all the right things, insisting the other person must be wrong or the problem.
Because narcissists live with a distorted view of themselves as superior, unique, or entitled, any situation or person that highlights their limitations or mistakes forces them to confront a reality that conflicts with their self-view. This confrontation causes inner distress and even shame, which they find intolerable.
2. Reality Messes With Their Control
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