As they lose control, they compensate through erratic and unhinged behavior. Their children, including those who have acted as enablers or “flying monkeys,” often begin to pull away. It becomes nearly impossible to care for them because they resist help and refuse to cooperate. In many cases, their caregivers and family members simply wish for their passing to bring relief from the chaos.
The collapse of a narcissist’s false self is inevitable. The false self is built on the delusion that they are all-powerful and invincible. Death shatters this illusion, leaving them unable to fight or cope with their loss of control. Instead, they externalize their internal turmoil by projecting hatred onto those who are trying to help them.
As I mentioned earlier, narcissists die as they have lived. If they were abusive and selfish in life, they remain so in death. The process of dying does not bring about a change of heart or behavior. In fact, it often makes them worse. If you are the scapegoated or black sheep child, not an enabling “flying monkey,” it is better for you to step back. Let those who supported the narcissist’s behavior take on the role of caretakers. Narcissists are likely to exploit you the most while treating you the worst.
You may feel compassion and choose to help, and if so, I respect your decision. However, it is essential to set strong boundaries to protect yourself. A dying narcissist may try to attack and tear you down emotionally and psychologically.
In summary, a dying narcissist becomes more hostile, aggressive, punitive, vengeful, entitled, and grandiose as they lose control. Their narcissistic false self collapses under the weight of reality, revealing their true nature. They die as they have lived, leaving behind a legacy of pain and destruction.
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